Mar 032014

J.T. Waldron


Robert LaRue: Wanted Man

Within 2007’s batch of 400,000 Iraq documents, Wikileaks has  uncovered grave U.S. concern over the release of a video demonstrating how any household can grow its own nutritious food.

“The timing of this Wikileaks release is particularly egregious, especially with the work we put into passing S.510, the Food Safety Modernization Act,” said Oklahoma Republican Congressman William Holdoff.  “The food industry is one of the largest remaining non-military contributions to the GNP – second only to heathcare.   Keeping the populace healthy with home-grown organic food hurts economic growth.  It’s a security risk.”

‘The Double Victory Garden’, a one-hour how-to HD video presentation, enlists the knowledge of 30-year veteran gardener Robert LaRue to provide all his secrets behind successful cultivation of organic food with minimal labor.

According to State Department Memo BE-1730:

“We can only link the title ‘Double Victory Garden’ to the household gardens used to feed U.S. households during World War II.  While it has not been determined what is implied by the term ‘Double Victory’, we are concerned that these gardens may have twice the yield.”

According to the latest Wikileaks bombshell, a pre-release bootlegged copy was found amongst the personal effects of U.S. troops serving in a compound in Tikrit.  Apparently, some U.S. soldiers were attempting to supplement the diet provided to them by military contractors KBR and SAIC.

The Memo continues:

“U.S. soldiers in Tikrit were sectioning plots of land, acquiring the necessary organic inputs and harvesting organic food that came dangerously close to exceeding recommended nutrient levels defined by Codex Alimentarius.  This is a worrisome level of self preservation among the troops that could eventually lead to troop concerns over depleted uranium and mandatory vaccines.”

The Double Victory Garden’s blog ( ) has survived repeated denial of service attacks and, since the writing of this article, was still offering copies of the contraband DVD at a criminally low rate.  Robert LaRue, the host of the presentation, has since decided to carry a cyanide pill with him and threatens “YouTube retaliation” should anything happen to him.